++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ House With Ghosts
A Double dose of deplorable Dimwittedness departed from their smelly ranch at thirty minutes after ten in the morning on a foggy Tuesday early in May. The tragically thick two arrived at the luscious landscapes and the luxurious large living lodgings. The dull closeness of the town gave the feeling of a place like Nashville, Ohio. While the vacant outskirts portrayed that of almost any place in Alaska of the Northwest Territory. The man, a simple pig farmer in his thirties, approached the front door and knocked. ?Oh, how silly ya be, Flad! We at are own?s new house and you?s thinks we has ta use a knocks!? stated the woman as if she thought she were the smart one there. The words stumbled out of her mouth like incoherent babbles and monkey sounds. The pig farmer, being dumb but not deaf, signed a response. ?How about you open door.? Wanting nothing more than to see what they had broken the bank for, the lady opened the door with a key. It was not until they got inside that they were shocked about their situation. Something was strange. Something was weird. Something was wrong. Bags and bags and bags unpacked lay around as if moving in had occurred the day before. But it had not! What a strange thing this was! The not yet known importance of the current date was soon inflicted upon them. This was done when the dumb pig farmer who could not talk read a tag on what appeared to be a luggage bag. This was the first bag inside the door. ? Let this be a warm welcome to the Xentoiah family.? Signed the man to his wife (for this was the process since she could not read). He would have thought the name to be peculiar had his own name been a tad more normal. Although, he was surprised that the name on the tag was one other than his own last name, Yemish. ?What, uh, husban?, does it say on thi nex? un?? the woman asked as if she may even posses a single thought that pertains to reality. Flad approached the next package (next, I say, for they were lined like dominos). He grabbed onto the tag of it. Before he had a chance to read, a blowing gust threw him at their front wall. It was so strong, in fact, that it blew his wife Merdrim out the door! He looked outside for her, panicked, and did nothing else. For he could not call to her! He began to sob with his hands and head at his knees. Then, a noise came from the house. ?Whee!? bellowed the noise. ?What was it?? the man signed to himself as he thought just that. Then he turned towards the house. Another sound echoed out the doorway. ?Thump!? The man?s entire body twitched just once upon hearing the second noise. Then he stumbled his way into the house, shaking. The stupid, dumb man reached the top of the three-step staircase. He saw it! ?Ah!? the man would have shrieked. ?No, I would not have?, remarked the stupid dumb idiot at me. ?Shut up, man. You don?t talk now, you hear?? I said in constraint. ?Yes, I do talk!? replied Flad. ?No, you do not. You are dumb. So, done with you!? I demanded to halt the conversation. The reason why I think the man would have shrieked was the shocking new item that lay before him. It was a large bag. In fact, it was so large that two bodies could fit in it! Actually, all of the bags were body bags, but this one had the name ?Yemish? on it! The facts did not fully add up until he did two things. First, he paced his way up and down the row of bags, reading the names on the tags off. They were in alphabetical order starting at the far end, coming all the way to the front to finish with ?Y?. Second, he opened the bag marked ?Yemish?. He instantly fainted, falling forward into the bag. He saw a body! The very next day, the house was for sale again. The Zinwug family rushed to purchase the cheap property. ?Just according to plan.? I thought. ?Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.? Just then, Flad and Merdrim Yemish appeared in front of me from out of nowhere. They made haste and began repeatedly stabbing me with gouging knives. They mutilated me till I was no more. Looking back on life, I wondered how they escaped. Upon death, they told me. They had not experienced the tragic death I so dynamically wished to impose. Instead, the Yemish couple placed life-sized dolls in the baggage to trick me. Then they immediately left to plot and hunt me down. this is something else--> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ An All White Room
Three people are sitting in what appears to be an all white room. They are discussing the events and viewpoints of what happened in their past. Jo Ko Crakuh, Peppi Pon Date, and Dr. Martha Xander are the three people. DMX: I have a pain here (points to Peppi), but I know its going to spread. PPI: What you talking ?bout. DMX: Nothing. (speaks in sarcasm now) I did not mean to be rude. (looks down at the ground, then continues looking down along with nodding a fake ?yes? while talking) I?m sorry. JKC: I kill people like you for breakfast. DMX: Who, me? But you a dead mambajamba. JKC: Ya, so?You are, too. I was tahkin? ?bout peppi whines-a-lot here, anyway. PPI: Habba Jack Lemento blenko smirk, bia-bia! (claps hands) Glety big glotta-bo! DMX: (angry) What? Them be fightin? words, hangnail. (gets in bad, poor-neighborhood, street-fighting stance.) PPI: (lightly hits DMX in the throat, then speaks weakly in a high voice as if not to be a good fighter) Uh. DMX: You did not just do dat. PPI: (terrified but not petrified) You?re right, I didn?t. DMX: (like a street thug talking to a civilian) Oh, you dead! PPI: (regains some courage, as if he had any to begin with) Yes I am. You?re dead, too. DMX: (angrily, partially personally defeated, less threatening but more like mean sarcasm) Well, die more! JKC: (knocks them both out: one with each fist) Well, that?s that. DDD: (disco dancin? Davey enters) Let?s talk about war, today. JKC: No, let?s not talk about war. DDD: Well, you see. World War VII was great because I got to?(cut off) JKC: Stop talking. DDD: I got to take over your land and basically own you guys. JKC: Why won?t your miserable talking end? The war was a sick joke. The mere fact that you were in charge of operations makes me want to rip out my eyes and vomit into them. So for the last time, shut up. DDD: Ah, yes. And I was the one in charge of basically everything. But they don?t know how it happened. First, twenty people were sent by Yugoplatania on a secret mission to Antartica. JKC: Yeah, and I was one of them. ZPA: Pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo pope pogo (Frank Zappa) JKC: What are you doing? (Crazed look) ZPA: I don?t know. (Zappa leaves.) DDD: So yeah, I ruled, you suck, I win, you lose. JKC: Yeah, but we both still be dead. DDD: (Cartoon frown) (Zappa enters) DMX: (Awakens) Now that I am awake, I feel like singing! When I was just a little lad (singing) of the age of three, my mom would get mad and try to beat me (folds arms) ZPA: Wow, that was amazing. I have to record an album about that! (guitar solo) PPI: You said it! (rocks out) DD: Back to the subject at hand, (angry) if the war were still going on, I would still be winning. (arrow to the heart) JKC: The world is a better place without you. PPI: Radical! ZPA: And she?s buying a stairway to heaven. JKC: Y?no you didn?t write that song. ZPA: Uh?(steals TV, jumps fence.) JKC: Dat be kwazy! DDD: Jus? like you. Anyway, I would still be in charge if it wasn?t for them crazy ambadextric Scientists. Yea, if I could?ve shot them left and right I?d still be in the game of life. JKC: Then again, Davey, there were still seventeen of them. You didn?t stand a chance. DDD: The name is Disco Dancin Davey. And I am much stronger than you are. JKC: That?s why I?m dead! DDD: Pretty much. Thanks for reminding me. JKC: Anyway, these scientists were smart. This fact was inconsistent in Peppi Pon Date, Dr. Martha Zander and I. DDD: For sure. PPI: Yes, but no. I am smart, very smart. You and Zander were not. Either way, I died dishonestly, I do believe. Backstabber! DDD: Ah, yes. The last of these three to kick it. Weren?t you done in by one of those scientists that gang banged me from all sides with two guns a piece. PPI: If you must know, yes. He was a friend of mine. Dr. George Kline was his name. He shot me four times at point blank. (interrupted) DDD: (interrupts) Eleven. PPI: Eleven times at point blank range while I was analyzing data from a find. It was a geothermic find. We found a supply of rock very similar to fuel. It was amazingly abundant. That?s all I learned in the time I had. PPI: (to DDD) You say eleven times. The first four killed me. Why would he?? DDD: I was looking in. I always had to know first hand what you were all up to. That was my biggest weakness. JKC: So you are weak. DMX: (chuckles) DDD: I may have wandered too close. And if that wasn?t enough, I would?ve been done in from when I accidentally fired my gun. JKC: You done gone and shot yourself? DDD: Oh, no! I shot at the scientists. It just wasn?t a good idea. JKC: You was dead in thirty seconds, uh? DDD: Well, they came up on me. I surrendered. Then we got to talking. I wouldn?t tell them anything. They knew I was responsible for many deaths. They pointed their guns at my backside. They forced me to apologize. They blew out my left hand. They told me that I would die for sure in the next few moments. They spat on me. They beat me up. They pulled at my ears and my hair. They poked at my eyes. They yelled at me. They told me to go where I belong. They open fired at me then. So furiously, in fact, that I was not even the only casualty. DMX: They fired out all their rounds. Now, out of the twenty of us that went to Antartica, only three remain. DDD: And of my men, who knows? Only five men other than me went in the first place. They were to sneak and kill. I never saw any of them. DMX: The crew I was with?.(interrupted) DDD: (interrupts) and my crew?. DMX, DDD, PPI, JKC: Are idiots! (End) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++